Woke up with my back feeling like I’m 85 years old. Did I get kicked by a horse? Or a toddler?
I don’t insist on many things as a mom, but you HAVE to give me a few moments to rip the bong before grocery shopping. HAVE to.
Husband hustled like a boss last night. Treat yo’ self funds for the whole family! Aka candy at the store.
I can’t be the only one semi excited for the Independence Day sequel, right?
If I let little dude play in the front seat while I adjust his carseat, it’s like wrestling a wild bear to put him back in it when we leave.
Hubs referred to himself as “hub” last night in a txt. He’s never allowed to make fun of me for it again.
You can make fun of me all you want, but I watch enough Housewives to start a trivia gameshow about it. I’d win EVERY SINGLE ROUND.
Just spent ten minutes staring at various outfits to dress little dude in. I’m definitely not stoned. Definitely not.
Why do I have a bunch of songs from Clueless stuck in my head? Probably because I’ll love that movie forever and always.
I hope my son knows I need him probably more than he needs me. He is the light in my heart.
No person should ever deface a war memorial. And that’s coming from someone who is normally obsessed with graffiti.
I think hazelnut coffee could be the most addictive substance known to man.
Life is rad but it really does suck sometimes, ya know?
It’s not childish to hold onto hope. It’s actually very, very hard.
IITS TIME TO DAB! Yassss!
I think my body type is ‘small, but slightly squishy in some spots.’
Yep, completely engrossed with the Roots mini series.
Why is gravy like super glue on my stove. Literally tired from cleaning it.
Hummus and black pepper sea salt pretzel crisps might be in the running for my new favorite combo.
*Hears thunder outside* “Hear that, little dude?! You know what that means! NAP!”
I feel a special kind of happiness when little dude watches Winnie The Pooh. He’s my silly old bear. And Tigger, tbh.
Hubs just came home with quite possibly the most beautiful buds I’ve ever seen. Life is good.
Why do I feel zero shame in finding myself funny? I laugh at my own posts constantly but I feel like I’m the only one. Lame.
“Sorry I called you a pedophile. I hope you’ll come to my holiday party.” Only on Housewives.
Little dude now refers to every thing that rolls out as “yoga-r!” because of my yoga mat and this makes me happy. I’m glad he likes that I do it and it actually keeps me motivated!
Hazelnut coffee and hits from the bongggggg is basically the divine breakfast of champions.
Cannabis is truly an incredible gift, dude.
Hubs got little dude his own smart tv and he couldn’t be happier about it. I literally walked in on him this morning dancing to rap videos on YouTube. But at least it’s not those damn surprise eggs.
I have a crush on my husband and that’s a nice feeling. And I’ll admit it, this small break for my usual social media world hasn’t been TOO bad. Don’t tell him I said that.
Baking blueberry muffins and watching American Dad. The life of a stay at home mom is sometimes a strange one.
It has been raining at various levels of intensity for a WEEK. A freaking week!
Losing myself in bong rips and Bloodline.
I really should post videos of little dude and his imagination for everyone to enjoy.
Having no one to talk to most of the time makes my head feel like its swimming with random thoughts no one really cares about. Le sigh.
Just had a really funny moment with hubs and little dude where we were all laughing hysterically. I love those times.
Aww. People love the treasure hunt game I made for little dude. Adorable.
Sometimes you just need to sit in the sun with your bong and think nice thoughts.
Every time I look at my child, I’m so happy to be alive!